The Myth of Forgiveness by Dr John Demartini

By Dr Demartini > Source

Have you ever noticed that anything you say ‘I forgive you’ for you keep attracting into your life, and anything you say ‘I’m sorry’ for, you keep doing? Whenever you say, “I’m sorry I’m late, honey,” you’ll continue doing it. Why? Because anything you apologize for or forgive, you are judging as not a part of divine order, and you’ll keep experiencing it until you understand how it is exactly that. Anything you feel guilty about you repeat, and anything you forgive you keep attracting into your life.

Forgiveness is actually a self-righteous illusion that makes someone bad or wrong and then presumes to judge and pardon, apology is judging yourself, and both are guaranteed to perpetuate whatever you judge. The only thing that transcends this dynamic is love.
People ask me, “Does that mean that if you run into somebody, you don’t have to say you’re sorry?”

Yes, it does. There are far more creative ways of dealing with such things. I bumped into a man in a hurry at a restaurant recently who said apologetically, “Oh, excuse me,” but I immediately turned to him and said, “Hi, I’m Dr. Demartini. We must have been attracted to each other for a reason. What’s your name?” and put my hand out to exchange a hand shake.

I started a conversation, made an interesting acquaintance, and almost enrolled him in my seminar that weekend. Instead of thinking it was a mistake, feeling guilty and apologizing and running that whole illusion. Why not see it as some kind of synchronicity. Find out what that synchronicity is, and turn it into a blessing and an opportunity? There are no mistakes in a divinely ordered universe. Why play into the illusion by apologizing for and forgiving divine order? Go beyond forgiveness, find the order, and be present with whatever happens. Of coarse you may be thinking this is not proper social etiquette, but neither is buying into or promoting unnecessary fear and guilt and helping people add to the already overloaded emotional baggage.

When most people use the term they mean, “I forgive you, but don’t ever do it again.” And what that really means is, “I still have a button on this. I judge you, and I’m righteous enough to put you down and humble you over it.”

To me, that’s incomplete and only conditional love. I say forgiveness is still blocked love. It implies guilt and is but a stepping-stone along the way to the truth of love. Faith is like forgiveness a stepping-stone along the path to the truth of love. Faith and forgiveness are stepping-stones on the journey that have no meaning when you arrive at the truth of love.

The only real meaning of forgiveness to me is, “Thank you for-giving-me this experience,” whatever it may be. If you can say that, I call it true transcendent forgiveness. Then you are no longer fearful or a victim of what people do around you, or what you do to others.

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